On Friday, I am going to Las Vegas without my children.
You'd think I'd be ready to have a parade. I've only been away from Baby B a total of 2 nights (one overnight to NYC when Baby B was with dad and one "romantic" overnight with dad to scenic, nearby Greensboro. My mom watched the kids). I've been away from the WG only once or twice for a weekend. And it was blissful for the first 12-15 hours and torture after that.
I miss them so badly. After years of staying home with them, my identity and my happiness are so wrapped up in the children. I miss their little bodies, their voices, their laughs, even their cries. I miss the ritual and routine - the same things that make me long for a getaway when I'm home. I know I'll have fun in Vegas, but this part - the dreading leaving them - is the worst.
So, I'm busing myself getting the house ready. I'm scheduling manicures and pedicures for myself so that I'm super busy and don't have to think about leaving them. I've typed ten pages worth of notes for the wonderful women that are taking care of them. I've recorded videos of me talking for them on the computer. I've wrapped a gift for each of them for each day. I've bought a portable webcam so we can Skype them while we're gone. I've got their outfits chosen for each day, their meals planned, and tomorrow I'll start baking the muffins and cooking the dinners they'll eat while I'm gone. If I can just squeeze in enough activities that I don't think about how hard it will be to be away from them, maybe then, I'll be alright.